Life Returns

I love Tom!

just sittin' here with Tom... YOU know Tom, don't you?

test

working with Windows Live Essentials…

Today I Saw a Fox

I saw it from by bedroom window. He wasn't really red, but sort of reddish... and bigger than the pair of foxes i saw in the backyard of my old house.

My camera, of course, was in another room!

Goody Goody - Benny Goodman 1980

…a new look at blogging

oh yeah. Now i’m blogging with Windows Live! That would be ‘cloud computing’ i think. Anyway, what the hey! Gonna give it a try!

It's been FIVE months...???? Really?

What's new? Loads!!! Don't even know where to start... but currently wow! Today started with a bang of sorts.

Was chilling out after leisurely breakfast in my jammies when brother, Don, called. Mom was 'sort of' non-responsive and they had called 911. I've never jumped into my clothes so fast... was there in record time.

Saw emergency vehicle still there... slide show of August 29, 2005 flashed through my head... was in the house in record time too!

Sitting in the kitchen... Don, Maxine, and MOM! Three guys standing around getting their job completed (paper work, etc.) How do you spell relief???? Mom woke up this a.m. with blood sugar around 27(?)... her eyes glazey and not moving... sort of dazed! She refused going to hospital... had to sign a waiver saying so... What can you do? She's 94 and still capable of making her own decisions. Anyway, it's really tough on Don & Max.

My bid on the condo is in... should hear by Friday at latest. Need to sell my house. It's been listed since last Friday. Pray... pray..... pray! Stuff happens. Life is good.

...AND..... had a great scrapbooking getaway this weekend! Good fun; good people; and most of all... good accomplishments! 2005 - all done!

Move forward.

Today is Kakizome

Kakizome means "first writing" of the year. This is my first writing and this is my traditional writing tool. Have long ago quit using the pen... so much so that it's hard for me to even try writing that way.

These five are only a few of the turkeys visiting my backyard last year... actually December 30 last year! There were more than a dozen in this flock.

Wild life love my place! In the past year this little acre has harbored birds small and large, groundhogs, chipmunks, a few deer (including a mom and fawn together), many skunks early in the year, bunny rabbits and even a few feral cats. Remember the kittens under the back deck?

Last year was a really positive transition for me... a year of learning and adjustment... and NO, i did NOT 'grow up' yet! I don't really want to and you can't make me!

The year 2009 included:

• A new baby - great grandson Logan James, son of James & Amanda, grandson of Pam & Mike. He arrived June 16, 2009 and is perfect in every way.
• I liberated myself a bit from the cable company by getting rid of my landline telephone. My home phone for over 50 years now goes wherever i go. I use MagicJack but only because it's really really cheap and i can use it for those hopelessly long waits with service calls.
• More liberation when i purchased my own TiVo box at a really really good bargain, got rid of the cable company's box and receiving only Basic Plus television service which more than meets my needs. The TiVo works with my computers and wireless system, making it very flexible! I haven't even used all it's features yet because i don't really need them yet... maybe later.
• Learned Charter now has a cheaper high speed internet service - hi-speed lite!!! It works for me!
• Linda and i visited the girls in San Diego. Loved it! If i didn't like my current home so much i would choose San Diego as home.
• Learned i don't need a human roommate... at least for now. Moving my sister in with me didn't work out. It seems we have very little in common. Before she moved out i was feeling used and abused (mentally, not physically... but it hurts just as much.)
• Visits with my mom enhance life. About every two weeks we go grocery shopping and either lunch or dinner afterward. Her hair stylist for over 30 years is great! She now cuts my hair regularly.
• Frank has become a beautiful idealized memory. He sometimes watches over me in my dreams... and awakening reminds me that i can remember those good times but must live now.
• I joined an online People Meeting service... not once but twice (two different ones). What a farce! I'm convinced they have fulltime employees acting as shills to make us think they are for real.
• My house continues to grow into my dream home. It is a warm, comfortable environment for me and my remaining feline roommates, EllieMae, AmyLouMae, and Miss Kitty.

Life is good. Life always moves forward. I will enjoy it to the fullest with family and friends and... if i really get lucky, maybe a special friend to share some of the travel and good times i am still young and vibrant enough to enjoy.

Today is COLD!!!

...very cold. Brrrrrr!!! 18 degrees fahrenheit. It's not windy but the sun is not shining. Political idiots are meeting in Copenhagen discussing - guess what - global WARMING!!! Yeah right!

The woman heading up the meeting just quit today. The U.S. President Whatsizname, oh yeah Osama Obama something like that... is going there nearer to the end ot the thing. I guess so he can make a grand entrance and look down his big nose at everybody there while he apologizes for Americans (that would be us) just because we are Americans. That seems to be what he does best... when he's not sounding like he's still campaigning and blaming all the troubles of the world on the last administration.

I wrapped a few gifts... thought about what other few gifts i still want to buy. Maybe i'll do that tomorrow.

Meanwhile, my hands are cold as i use the keyboard on my laptop. Hmmm! there is some heat emanating from it.

I don't like winter. I don't like being by myself all the time. Maybe i should get a job???

Finally Got Out!!!

Liberated! Yeay!!!

Emilio phoned me this morning and offered to come over and get me out. While we were talking i went out to check the weather. Stuff was melting at a pretty good rate. The snowdrift by my garage had melted down to maybe only a foot, more or less. I could see it was less steep next to the road where the snowplow had piled it up. I told him i was pretty sure i could get out and he wouldn't have to drive all the way over here to clear snow for me; i'd let him know if i needed help.

Then i noticed Jack had been over sometime between dark and dawn. My recycle bin was on the deck, filled once again with the plastics and glass that got dumped last week. He had brought the garbage can from my back yard where the wind had blown it.

Life was looking better again.

Once dressed to shop, i backed my car from the garage, turned around, and drove straight up to the center of the road... Success!!! Remembering what the husband used to do in similar circumstances. i just drove back and forth from the garage to the center of the road... flattening out all that wet sloppy white stuff! Then i went shopping.

Found THE tv stand i wanted for my second living room space... on sale! Not only that but i got another 15% discount using my credit card!!! Life is good! Bought gas... another pleasant surprise. It was cheaper when i came out of the store than it was when i went in... also using the same card i got 5 cents a gallon off!!! Then i remembered i didn't get a new plastic shovel for my decks... to replace the broken one.

Went to Menard's... mostly because i had a $10 credit coupon from last summer when i bought the lawnmower and i was hoping it was still good. Turns out it was! Bought the perfect 'deck shovel' for $5.95 and a giant container of disinfectant wipes for the kitchen.... and only had to spend a bit more than $2.00 and my coupon!!!

I felt so good about my day that i cleared th entire back deck with that new shovel!!! Yup! Life is good again!

This is a B****ing Session...

I'm tired of being boxed in. My driveway is impassable. Today is warm enough that the snow is all soft and HEAVY... but not icy. I can't clean it off my decks because the plastic shovel is broken. NO Natalie, it's not your fault; it was already partly broken when you used it Friday. I suppose i could go into the garage & get the metal show shovel but that would scratch up and damage the decks.

There is still a big snowdrift about 6 feet from my garage door so if i tried to back out i'm sure i'd get stuck! The snow is heavy and i know no other woman my age who would even attempt shoveling snow. It's even too heavy to hire sombody to come and clean it up now. Maybe more will melt before the day is over.

I brought my newspaper in this morning; and the mail that has collected for a few days. Used my cane so i wouldn't fall and ruin my knees or break any bones or whatever, so of course there was a temporary traffic jam on an otherwise slow day for traffic.

I'm glad i had my Christmas spirit early because now it's all gone. At least i have decorations around the house so it LOOKS cheerful. When i went to the holiday bazaar at Leaman's i bought things for Dave, Linda, Emilio, and Mike. Oh i forgot... bought something for Patti too but she hates me so maybe i'll just keep that. When i shopped in Frankenmuth i bought something for Logan. Maybe i'm all done shopping. I'm not in the mood even if i could get out of the driveway!

I'm tired of living alone.

I'm tired of living out in the country where nobody lives. At least in the right city i could walk where i want to go. Of course i'd have to use my cane in this kind of weather. Incongruous, eh?

Maybe i just want to move to Arizona or maybe New Mexico... maybe one of the Carolinas??? Hmmm. I think i'll start looking. I shouldn't have any problem selling my house. It looks damn good!

I've Already Had Enough Snow!!!

Remember this soft smooshy snow that was too HEAVY to move?

Well i'll tell you... the next day got really cold and it snowed some more! Any snow that i had pushed around turned into ice and today it is still impossible to move. I'm ready to move south for the winter... or maybe for the rest of my life!

I am totally snowed in until the snow melts.

Yesterday Natalie cleaned my house. It's beautiful. She got in just fine. When she tried to get OUT of my driveway, she had problems. Picture this: Natalie shoveling some of the piled up ice/snow, put in my driveway by the snowplow... then backing up and driving in fast forward..... while i, holding onto my cane for stability on the ice, am watching for traffic and telling her when to go... and go fast!

This lasted what seemed like forever. Then Jack stepped out of his garage door. His dog caught his attention to see what was happening outside. I wave at him and we continue our efforts. He apparently left his hearing aid inside when he came out. FINALLY... i tell Natalie it's a go (no traffic coming around the curve)... she gooses the gas and whoopeee.... she's out at last!

Lesson learned. So Jack tells me not to hire somebody to shovel my drive. He will do it for me... BUT he only does it when his driveway needs shoveling too. Fine... but. His wife is out shopping. I am grounded. No more listening to him! I'm hiring the job done.

Second Snowfall of 2009

.....took place between last night and this morning.

I woke up after the snowplow and garbage collection this morning. Don't know if the white garbage bag was picked up or tossed into my neighbor's yard, but there sits the recycled stuff. Yup, recycled and mixed with the freshly plowed snow! Could have been worse. I noticed my neighbor's mailbox is down.

The snow is beautiful but i'm sure it will melt pretty fast; it's very wet and slushy.

Okay... i need to confess. This is a part of 'life without Frank' so i must share! I just paid for a 6 month membership in a 'people meet' online group. No, i'm not looking for love and all that stuff; just want to know somebody to spend an occasional evening or afternoon... for the companionship of it, that's ALL!

I promise myself i will not divulge any info that could endanger me in any way but an email relationship or two sure beats playing 'Farmville' by myself on Facebook! ...and it keeps me off the streets. (That's supposed to be a joke, kids.)

Love the Holidays?

New shelves i installed over the tv in my cozy newest living room. NOW i really really need a new tv stand - corner style in the same walnut wood tones as the shelves, futon and fireplace in here! I think it will be my 'after Christmas' gift to me.

Yes, the family living great room is decorated too. Fact is i have four Christmas trees around the house... the ceramic shown here; two pre-lighted small trees, one in front of fireplace and one in the greatroom near the wood burner, and my five foot fiber-optic tree in front of the window in greatroom! This is the first year i've actually FELT that Christmas joy in my heart since my life changed drastically more than four years ago.

Pearl Harbor

...was attacked 68 years ago today. I was five years old. I don't remember that day but i remember things that happened during those times. I remember almost nothing about my father - who was off again, on again with my mother until their divorce was final. I do remember though, asking him why he didn't have to go to the war. He told me it was because he was '4F' - and when i asked him what that meant he told me it was because he had flat feet!!!?

Now i know he was alcoholic. I also know he was eleven years older than my mother which means he was about 36 years old at the time.

I also remember when the war ended. I was nine years old at the time. We lived in a two apartment house in a primarily Italian-American neighborhood. My mom had banned my father from ever coming around to see us - their four kids. My new dad was not yet in the picture. He was in that war... a nephew to two of my mom's best friends in the neighborhood.

People were making noise with whatever means available... mostly tooting their car horns. Everybody was happy. It was a really good day!

Who do You Call...

...when your sink has a leak? I call my neighborhood 'rent a husband.'

Thank you Jack...

Thank you Jacquie! These things would be a whole lot bigger if i didn't have you for a friend.

7 stories Barack Obama doesn't want told - John F. Harris - POLITICO.com

7 stories Barack Obama doesn't want told - John F. Harris - POLITICO.com

Read this first thing this morning on Yahoo, of all places... usually mostly liberal in nature. Since then i've read it othre places on the net, including a newsletter i get every day. This article points out Obama shortcomings that some of us have been aware of for a long long time already!

NOW is a real time for a change!

...THAT long since i've been here?

WOW! Well, the time was well spent. Among other events, i spent quality time with the newest family member... Logan. Here he is reading a book to his grampa Mike. Smart little tyke, eh? ...and SO perfect! Isn't he a beautiful baby? I can just hear his great-grampa Frank calling him a little round-head. Yeah, it is a term of endearment.

Hmmm... let's see. What else happened? Spent time with my mom - shopping, going out to lunch, getting our hair done... all quality time.

Went shopping with a couple of friends - Jacquie and Betty - to Frankenmuth. Can you believe... i've never shopped there before, even though we've eaten there many times over the years and visited during the ice festival in winter. Gotta go back to shop though; i really enjoyed that.

Oh! Had a cropping session here at my house with some of the girls one weekend. That was fun. Shar finished her SanDiego album... Natalie made a bunch of cards... and Linda mostly chilled out after having her eye surgery earlier that week. I determined how i will complete the album i was working on when i was still a married lady. Decided to make a transitional page and then add pages i create for my CM memory board as they change.

I was so glad to be with Linda when she had the vitrectomy... and i took her back the next day for the checkup. She is doing great... seeing a little better already and confident it will not get any worse now.

Also spent Thanksgiving with Linda... just the two of us. Everybody else had their own things going on and it was fine with me. We had a turkey roast with all the T-Day trimmings and watched a movie later. All in all, a fine day... made perfect by the fact that between Thanksgiving eve and yesterday i talked with each and all of my offspring! I love 'em all!

Today Nat, Emilio and i worked in my yard. They raked all the rest of the leaves and i cleaned up my garden a bit. We got the space under my deck cleaned up and ready for new things to happen in the springtime... yes, a very productive day!

I have my ceramic tree up in the cozy living room... and tomorrow will put up the fiber optic tree in the family living room... moving forward. All is well.

I think this is all good healthy growing. I will always miss my love but the pain is no longer the biggest part of my life. Thank you, God.

Did you Ever Wish you could Erase Everything and Start Over?

I am not unhappy. I am not happy.

My life has been varied even though i was married forever. I've traveled... worked... played... loved and lived.

No matter what i did or accomplished... i always was proud of my biggest accomplishment. Together with my lifetime love (and sometime combatant) i raised six wonderful, beautiful, talented and intelligent daughters...

...or so i thought. I was recently called a 'failure.' This tells me i have lived 73+ years for nothing.

I whine when i have 'not enough' to do; i whine when i have 'too much' to do. I am no longer a wife. Now i am just a mother and a daughter... oh yeah... and a failure. I want to be ME! When will i have a chance to be me?

Who am I?

Kim's Pc to Tv

Bridging the gap between PC and TV