Today is Kakizome

Kakizome means "first writing" of the year. This is my first writing and this is my traditional writing tool. Have long ago quit using the pen... so much so that it's hard for me to even try writing that way.

These five are only a few of the turkeys visiting my backyard last year... actually December 30 last year! There were more than a dozen in this flock.

Wild life love my place! In the past year this little acre has harbored birds small and large, groundhogs, chipmunks, a few deer (including a mom and fawn together), many skunks early in the year, bunny rabbits and even a few feral cats. Remember the kittens under the back deck?

Last year was a really positive transition for me... a year of learning and adjustment... and NO, i did NOT 'grow up' yet! I don't really want to and you can't make me!

The year 2009 included:

• A new baby - great grandson Logan James, son of James & Amanda, grandson of Pam & Mike. He arrived June 16, 2009 and is perfect in every way.
• I liberated myself a bit from the cable company by getting rid of my landline telephone. My home phone for over 50 years now goes wherever i go. I use MagicJack but only because it's really really cheap and i can use it for those hopelessly long waits with service calls.
• More liberation when i purchased my own TiVo box at a really really good bargain, got rid of the cable company's box and receiving only Basic Plus television service which more than meets my needs. The TiVo works with my computers and wireless system, making it very flexible! I haven't even used all it's features yet because i don't really need them yet... maybe later.
• Learned Charter now has a cheaper high speed internet service - hi-speed lite!!! It works for me!
• Linda and i visited the girls in San Diego. Loved it! If i didn't like my current home so much i would choose San Diego as home.
• Learned i don't need a human roommate... at least for now. Moving my sister in with me didn't work out. It seems we have very little in common. Before she moved out i was feeling used and abused (mentally, not physically... but it hurts just as much.)
• Visits with my mom enhance life. About every two weeks we go grocery shopping and either lunch or dinner afterward. Her hair stylist for over 30 years is great! She now cuts my hair regularly.
• Frank has become a beautiful idealized memory. He sometimes watches over me in my dreams... and awakening reminds me that i can remember those good times but must live now.
• I joined an online People Meeting service... not once but twice (two different ones). What a farce! I'm convinced they have fulltime employees acting as shills to make us think they are for real.
• My house continues to grow into my dream home. It is a warm, comfortable environment for me and my remaining feline roommates, EllieMae, AmyLouMae, and Miss Kitty.

Life is good. Life always moves forward. I will enjoy it to the fullest with family and friends and... if i really get lucky, maybe a special friend to share some of the travel and good times i am still young and vibrant enough to enjoy.

Today is COLD!!!

...very cold. Brrrrrr!!! 18 degrees fahrenheit. It's not windy but the sun is not shining. Political idiots are meeting in Copenhagen discussing - guess what - global WARMING!!! Yeah right!

The woman heading up the meeting just quit today. The U.S. President Whatsizname, oh yeah Osama Obama something like that... is going there nearer to the end ot the thing. I guess so he can make a grand entrance and look down his big nose at everybody there while he apologizes for Americans (that would be us) just because we are Americans. That seems to be what he does best... when he's not sounding like he's still campaigning and blaming all the troubles of the world on the last administration.

I wrapped a few gifts... thought about what other few gifts i still want to buy. Maybe i'll do that tomorrow.

Meanwhile, my hands are cold as i use the keyboard on my laptop. Hmmm! there is some heat emanating from it.

I don't like winter. I don't like being by myself all the time. Maybe i should get a job???

Finally Got Out!!!

Liberated! Yeay!!!

Emilio phoned me this morning and offered to come over and get me out. While we were talking i went out to check the weather. Stuff was melting at a pretty good rate. The snowdrift by my garage had melted down to maybe only a foot, more or less. I could see it was less steep next to the road where the snowplow had piled it up. I told him i was pretty sure i could get out and he wouldn't have to drive all the way over here to clear snow for me; i'd let him know if i needed help.

Then i noticed Jack had been over sometime between dark and dawn. My recycle bin was on the deck, filled once again with the plastics and glass that got dumped last week. He had brought the garbage can from my back yard where the wind had blown it.

Life was looking better again.

Once dressed to shop, i backed my car from the garage, turned around, and drove straight up to the center of the road... Success!!! Remembering what the husband used to do in similar circumstances. i just drove back and forth from the garage to the center of the road... flattening out all that wet sloppy white stuff! Then i went shopping.

Found THE tv stand i wanted for my second living room space... on sale! Not only that but i got another 15% discount using my credit card!!! Life is good! Bought gas... another pleasant surprise. It was cheaper when i came out of the store than it was when i went in... also using the same card i got 5 cents a gallon off!!! Then i remembered i didn't get a new plastic shovel for my decks... to replace the broken one.

Went to Menard's... mostly because i had a $10 credit coupon from last summer when i bought the lawnmower and i was hoping it was still good. Turns out it was! Bought the perfect 'deck shovel' for $5.95 and a giant container of disinfectant wipes for the kitchen.... and only had to spend a bit more than $2.00 and my coupon!!!

I felt so good about my day that i cleared th entire back deck with that new shovel!!! Yup! Life is good again!

This is a B****ing Session...

I'm tired of being boxed in. My driveway is impassable. Today is warm enough that the snow is all soft and HEAVY... but not icy. I can't clean it off my decks because the plastic shovel is broken. NO Natalie, it's not your fault; it was already partly broken when you used it Friday. I suppose i could go into the garage & get the metal show shovel but that would scratch up and damage the decks.

There is still a big snowdrift about 6 feet from my garage door so if i tried to back out i'm sure i'd get stuck! The snow is heavy and i know no other woman my age who would even attempt shoveling snow. It's even too heavy to hire sombody to come and clean it up now. Maybe more will melt before the day is over.

I brought my newspaper in this morning; and the mail that has collected for a few days. Used my cane so i wouldn't fall and ruin my knees or break any bones or whatever, so of course there was a temporary traffic jam on an otherwise slow day for traffic.

I'm glad i had my Christmas spirit early because now it's all gone. At least i have decorations around the house so it LOOKS cheerful. When i went to the holiday bazaar at Leaman's i bought things for Dave, Linda, Emilio, and Mike. Oh i forgot... bought something for Patti too but she hates me so maybe i'll just keep that. When i shopped in Frankenmuth i bought something for Logan. Maybe i'm all done shopping. I'm not in the mood even if i could get out of the driveway!

I'm tired of living alone.

I'm tired of living out in the country where nobody lives. At least in the right city i could walk where i want to go. Of course i'd have to use my cane in this kind of weather. Incongruous, eh?

Maybe i just want to move to Arizona or maybe New Mexico... maybe one of the Carolinas??? Hmmm. I think i'll start looking. I shouldn't have any problem selling my house. It looks damn good!

Second Snowfall of 2009

.....took place between last night and this morning.

I woke up after the snowplow and garbage collection this morning. Don't know if the white garbage bag was picked up or tossed into my neighbor's yard, but there sits the recycled stuff. Yup, recycled and mixed with the freshly plowed snow! Could have been worse. I noticed my neighbor's mailbox is down.

The snow is beautiful but i'm sure it will melt pretty fast; it's very wet and slushy.

Okay... i need to confess. This is a part of 'life without Frank' so i must share! I just paid for a 6 month membership in a 'people meet' online group. No, i'm not looking for love and all that stuff; just want to know somebody to spend an occasional evening or afternoon... for the companionship of it, that's ALL!

I promise myself i will not divulge any info that could endanger me in any way but an email relationship or two sure beats playing 'Farmville' by myself on Facebook! ...and it keeps me off the streets. (That's supposed to be a joke, kids.)

Oh.. That photo in my last post...

It's me... in SanDiego along the waterfront..... flirting with the mannequin! I've seen these guys on tv but never in person before. Had to interact with him!

It's Cinco de Mayo...

Have a good one! Today a friend told me it doesn't matter so much who reads her blog... it's therapeutic. Know what? That's the way I used to be... and now it's not so much fun. Why? I think I started writing to get other bloggers to come and leave comments.

No more! It's back to basics for this lady. Some days may be different than the old days BFD (Before Frank Died) - but they are days nonetheless - they are my days - and by golly, I'm gonna make the best of it.

I went to a meeting Thursday. We call them 'dioxin meetings'. The chemical company and the state government regulatory people are working together to clean up a chemical they couldn't even find in such tiny amounts a century ago when it all started. I don't attend those meetings to make sure they're doing it right. They know what they are doing. I attend because I find it therapeutic! I attend because there's a gang of bullies who want to get something for nothing from the giant company. I attend because those bullies want to drag me and my neighbors along with them by claiming they represent all of us. I attend to represent me and the majority of my neighbors!

Now I'd better go over to TRVoice & blog about that meeting. If you happen to stop by there, don't think ill of me - I plan on using that last paragraph to get the thing going. I think my writer's block just got unblocked!

Not a Diet...

...it's a lifestyle change; first time since the biggy when the husband left his earthly body. Here's the plan:

• Count calories - only thing that ever worked for me. Found a great place on line that does it all for you. It's called My Calorie Counter and my blog & journal is here. It keeps track of calories (input and output) and charts your progress! You don't have to show all that info but it works for me so I do! It helps to have a buddy so if anybody wants to go it with me, join up and let me know!


• Use exercise equipment - formerly used for extra clothing storage and coatracks for company. Yes, I have a stationary bike and treadmill and will start using them every day. Might possibly make exceptions on days when I'm 'out and about.'


• Cook for myself and, in general, use the kind of recipes I used for Frank. Honest!!! We ate healthy, even when I didn't lose weight! I controlled the fats & used more veggies and fruits for balance. Since he's gone I've begun eating out again and eat more fats and less veggies and fruits. Looking at my daily food journal will definitely help accomplish this goal.


• Get a life! He died; I didn't. I know he doesn't want me to vegetate.

Had a break from cabin fever earlier this week. Went out for breakfast with Jack & Jacquie and the same day took mom out for dinner. It was a full day but yes... loads of fun! Good people, good food - what more can one ask for? I guess you might say it was the big binge that made me decide to try to get back to reality! No, not gonna stop going out... just plan to be more realistic with every day eating. I think I've been adjusting (or not) to my first time ever living alone by doing what lots of people do when they're 'on their own' for the first time. The difference is... I know better!

The kitty in the pic? No, I didn't acquire another!!! It's my mom's! Isn't she a beauty?

...and oh yes, Monday Madness - today mine shows up on Friday. OttO (Monday Madness) says, 'Sorry, folks! I'm running a bit late (again)! Hope all is well and you all have a wonderful week. Thanks for playing Monday Madness. The following 2 questions come from our friend, tricia... Thanks, Tricia, and thanks for the idea!'
1. Do you ever use all caps when typing online messages? no... I sometimes use caps on one word... sort of shouting on purpose. ;-)
2. Does it bother you when other people use all caps in their messages? not really because I don't think they know what it means.
3. Do you use abbreviations (i.e. lol, brb, etc.) when typing email messages or text messages? not usually because I don't know what most of them mean... but I DO use fyi and btw quite often. Does that mean I should have said yes?
4. Do you ever receive faxes or other correspondence from a professional office that are typed in all caps? If so, what do you think of that? actually, no.
5. Do you rely on the computer program to catch your typing errors, or do you proofread your material before sending it out? My spelling and grammar are actually pretty good so I usually ignore what my computer program corrects... unless it's a business letter or document. Most of my casual 'errors' are actually done on purpose. ;-)

Delusions and Confessions...

Omigosh! I'm an addict! For all my complaints about the Anna Nicole publicity I just realized the truth! My favorite news station is covering the court proceedings almost constantly. Today I sorted laundry... three loads and I want to get it all done today. I just realized the addiction when it was time to take a load out of the washer... I actually considered Tivo-ing the trial so I wouldn't miss any of it!

Yes, I did turn it off yesterday... but partly because I have some favorites on HGTV... at least until I get some redecorating and remodeling completed. So far today I just don't want to miss a thing. Good heavens... some days my life seems like a soap opera but this story becomes more mesmerizing as it progresses! No, I will not Tivo it.

Yes, I am afraid! Of what? Oh, didn't I mention? I just learned about a new medical condition. It's called Barrett's Esophagus. Never heard of it before... never heard of GERD... rarely have heartburn.... and I feel absolutely great!!! Had heartburn during pregnancy and recently started having it on a regular basis after taking Fosamax for osteoporosis. Yes, I am aware that Prilosec, a treatment for Barrett's Esophagus, is known to weaken the bones. Yes, my primary physician has already taken corrective action... changing my osteoporosis medication and strongly advising to take the Prilosec!

Why am I afraid? She has impressed on my mind that Barrett's Esophagus is a precancerous condition. Now I've just read in the above mentioned website:

'Surprisingly, as many as 40% of patients who are diagnosed with an esophageal adenocarcinoma (Barrett's associated cancer) deny ever having typical heartburnor GERD symptoms, such as burning chest pain or regurgitation of acid.'

Okay, so I'm afraid but will not dwell on it. I feel great and will conscientiously follow doctor's orders and do everything in my power to maintain my health.

I'm superstitious! A year or two ago an environmental extremist weirdo female advised me that I should not go around 'bragging about my good health in public'. Since then my husband died and two of my family pets have died. Logic tells me it's coincidence. Short of poisoning our food or drink, that witch has no way to cause ill health in my household!

I'm religious! I pray and ask for your prayers as well.

I'm an optimist! I honestly believe I am as healthy as I feel. I believe maintenance is important in life... be it your home, your car, or most of all your own body!

I dislike housework of all kinds, including laundry! ...so I save it up, do it in one day and get it out of my way until it really needs it again.

Also, sounds like I'm self-centered! Hmmm! Perhaps I am. I do know, however, that in order to love others one must love oneself... and I think I do. Since my best friend, my spouse, died, I need to be my own best friend... and so I am.

1:19 PM 2/22/2007
Talk about drama! One of the lawyers just collapsed in the courtroom. Turns out he's diabetic and needed sustenance. Judge just announced he wants to wrap up testimony today because he wants to announce his decision tomorrow! ...and this is just to determine who gets custody of the body! I can hardly wait for the parental custody portion. Hope that judge is dramatic as this one!

Tell me... am I 'normal'?