Sunday, March 1, 2009

Life without Frank is a learning process...

...bigger than i ever dreamed. Between June 2008 and today i learned that i cannot 'fix' everything, no matter how much i want to.

In June my sister (one of three) moved in with me. She had a series of 'bad luck' with her living arrangements, money, and all that..... all of this after a lifetime of bad choices with men including two 'bad' marriages.

All i had was a big house, a big yard, more space than one person needs, a need for somebody to help me with the chores inside and out..... and a love for my maternal family that had been in the background during my life of adventure with Frank.

I soon learned my sister is not the little sister i remember. Matter of fact our lifestyles had changed so drastically in opposite directions that we have nothing in common. I also learned she had no intention to help with anything around the house, inside or out.

She lived in her bedroom when she was not at work. We had dinner together, and even that was not overly pleasant. She did not enjoy the foods i learned to like during the last dozen or so years of learning a healthy lifestyle with Frank, a lifestyle that prolonged his life (although not long enough!) She only went outdoors to have a smoke.

Today my sister arrived around 10:30 a.m. with a U-Haul truck, two of her grandkids and her car. By 12:10 she had all of her earthly possessions loaded, including Zeke, her Himalayan cat. She came back into the house, handed me my keys, and started counting out her money... her last 'rent' payment for living here. I told her i didn't want any money....

...and she said, 'It works for me.'

Goodbye little sister. I wish you only good things. I love you and I am trying not to cry. I wish i could say i will miss you, but i will not miss your abusive language... i will not miss the nasty sour ash tray smell whenever i walk past the room you occupied..... and i will not miss the occasional, but too frequent cat feces and urine on the floors of my home.