Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Second Thoughts...

...maybe i should let her stay with me. Maybe i am a sinner for not understanding her illness. Maybe... maybe...... maybe........

This morning i was awakened, once again, by the continual coughing, choking, gagging, spitting almost to the point of throwing up, and more coughing and choking. The disease is called COPD; spelled out it is called chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

The tv ads for Spiriva should show what i hear every morning. ...and it's not just mornings; it's just worse in the morning, after a night's sleep when her poor abused body has done it's best to try to heal itself. It appears to be a losing battle because, after the morning pulmonary exercise trying to excrete those poisons from her body; after she medicates; she goes outside for a breath of 'fresh' air... and that precious first cigarette of the day.

When mom was in the hospital for so long this summer, Sis kept saying we need to be by her side because... 'nobody should be left alone to die.' Was she really talking about herself?

i did some online literature search this morning. i will spare the details and especially the photo included with the first article. i learned how insidious this COPD really is!!!

Here are the best of what i read: http://www.nhlbi.nih.gov/health/dci/Diseases/Copd/Copd_WhatIs.html

http://www.medicinenet.com/script/main/art.asp?articlekey=86131

...and here is a quote from an article pushing their own non-prescription product. It describes some of the research being done.

Literally poking holes in patients' lungs

Shooting special "glue" into their
lungs, and

Putting one-way valves inside bronchial tubes to let stale air out


Good heavens! Now i know why, even when she's not smoking, she smells like an ashtray! Pray for my sister; pray for me.

Am i selfish for needing to move her from my house?

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